Hate is really a very strong word. To hate someone is a very strong feeling. and I have never used that on anyone or anything before. But today I am, because I am so pissed off. And its not just one person, BUT TWO! I hate them!

Leia es mi azucar y Roshan es mi especia. : ) Figure that out if you are clever! ha! Thats from the heart : ) I will never trade these two for anything. They high me up!!!

It was truly absolutely sooooooo nice to be back in school. Not the first half-an hour tho. I was in the hall with my legs spread wide( ha like some pregnant woman : ). When a familiar voice squeaked, LAVVY YOU ARE BACK! I MISS YOU. L-ly , I missed her too. I think this is the best time to say that Leia is one of my future daughtys name, Prolly the Cutest One who looks mixed -provided I marry some Caucasian guy or maybe A hot Spanish SENOR. OOOHLALALA. And Mdm Ang was like, Hi Ernie, how is your leg, to me in a very jaunty tone-like manner yeah the sesame street character because I was wearing this sweater Which had horizontal lines on it? DARN CUTE I SAY. Oh and I am beginning to dig Bhangra. @_@ This song by Craig David and Rishi Rich. HOT To L-ly, I know you will always love him, It is the same with my RRRRAAHH. R&L show rocks my world : )

Heavenly mine. He was such a dime. How stupid I was to have just left him just to come back in time. I feel stupid really. I dont even know if i am going back to school tmrw. I have missed so many lessons. Today is definitely not my day. TERRIBLE. at least one thing was good.WHAT? no Not what.. but WHO? CARL ROSS. This half eurasian, half indo guy. WE had a nice time chatting. Pisces meets Aquarius. oh and did i forgot to mention VERY ADORABLE. L-ly you'll love him : )

Well the pain was excrutiating.Give me any place in the world to be except the hospital and i would be there in the speed of light-that painful. I was so surprised when Layhwee, Wen Ting and Josua came to visit me. wow. I was sleeping so soundly that i didnt even hear the bell ringing so many times.Then I got fed up and called my mum up and asked her if any of our tution teachers were coming-negative. I look through the peep hole and i thnk i got a glimpse of josuas back and i knew it was them. So I quickly wore my flip-flops-yes with my messy hairdo and all, I mean come on they came all the way. I climbed one floor up-with difficulty then took the lift and reached the void deck. Still no sign of them.walked a bit.Then I saw them Talked to them. Dorothy(yee huay) and Monique(Ming Yi) wrote me letters.The four of us sat at a bench and chatted all the way up to 7.discussed about teachers day.It going to be so COOOOLLLIIIOO!- i have got a great idea : ) yeah me the Cremamama :P I'll be home until further notice. What do i have to say about all this? Liquid Nitrogen is my arch rival, -60 degree celcius NO BLOODY KIDDING I TELL YOU.

before I break the news, L-Ly? we had some great time on Friday. I am sorry I couldn't join you and mama. But I will next time. CAn we hang out sometime before I go for my U-KNOW-WHAT? I didnt want to tell it out but I think I will be just be a woman and do it. HAUHAUHAUHAUHAU…( btw thats Brazilian laughter!) I AM IN FOR A SUGERY on the 26th of August!!( Yeah I know) Phew.I feel so relieved now. Off my chest. No words can express the trauma I went through upon hearing this SHOCKING news? We were thinking along the lines of nitrogen spray when I went for the appointment at the hospital-which got kind of screwed up because we were referred to a GP instead of a podiatrist? I really didnt need that, seriously. SO there I was in the consultation room. The GP, not sure what her name was tho but well she wanted to see my feet and she saw it she was like, We have many treatments for corn and warts. We normally give the nitrogen spray but we will just wait for the dermatologist to have a look first so why don’t you just get up on the bed and wait, alright??” she said that so very sweetly that suddenly even the idea of coming to the hospital wasn’t bad at all- I mean not as if I don’t like to, those close to me will know that my ambition when I was young was to be a doctor.Sometimes, I still have it in me-to be a doctor? But its just too mentally demanding. Triple science? I agree that physics is becoming easier for me but at as a A-level subject? No thanks. Chem? yes way! Bio? Oh yeah baby yeah ( the Austin powers way). Well anyway… I was just up on the bed waiting and I saw this chart like thing which says something about diabetes and for a few minutes I was so into it that I didnt even realize it when the dermatologist came in. He pulled the curtains and with just one look with his( science lab like goggles thingie) he went, Oh no, this is quite serious, she needs a surgery! I was like, Surgery? What surgery?. The GP knew I was absolutely gob smacked at even the idea of it. I really wasnt expecting it at all .All I thought was about the spray I would be having, going home, letting my leg heal and then go on to play soccer freely and lose back some of the weight I have gained over the month or even two months? Yes its really very depressing. I havent been able to do anything.To play even for the competition, I had to bite my teeth. They were all worried for me especially Dorothy and em but I still went ‘cos I knew we could DO THAT STUFF. And yeah we WON! : ) Well anyway, Surgery was terrible itself and the idea of it being in December, October or even SEPTEMBER 20? Was so not working cos it was during my prelims. So the podiatrist actually works private but he comes to the hospital like once a week to see patients and he checked his schedule and said the earliest date for a public hospital sugery( in this case in NUH) will be on the 20th of October.NO WAY! Going privately could be anytime even the next day he said. Well we(moi, but I am just making it sound a bit dramatic ) werent actually ready for that so we called him up yesterday and DOOM’S DAY is set. 26th august it is! Hurrah : ( I will be on anesthesia! I am just feeling so afraid to be detached from the whole world and just alone with my feet, the doctor and of course MR & MRS SUGERY INSTRUMENTS. @_@.. Well what can I do? I would like some visitors : )

new template. yeah though this was cool. this is even much more cooler.. my nick: COOLLLLIIIOOO!.. If i'm meanie, that makes you twice more Roshan Roshan's: ((((Death)))))) TT Meanie.......who'z meaner now COOOOOLLLLIIIOOOO!!! gosh i am taking after my senior. and leia? I LOVE YOU :)

RENESH aka KANDA MAMA!!! I miss you! looks i miss people too much.. especially the RRSSSssss. DAmn. One's in Aust while the other is in CAN. One's my relative- that's Renesh. WHile the other is my..... - you know the rest la.. One's good in soccer and is a virgo while the other is good in basketball and is a Libran. AM i doing a comparison question for Social studies paper here? Oh yeah i forgot to cross refer!!! Oh wait a minute do I have too?haha Our semi-final-and everything else is happening later on- i am typing in from school u see..: ) Have two wishes today.. ONE.. to win the compe : ) TWO to see the people around me whom i love to be happy. Sweet aren't I? OMG self appraisal is an International disgrace. Sorry i can be like that to myself at times. youknow its just Lavanya : )

I cant believe it! Another persons leaving. My lovely Aunt Vim is leaving for Brisbane- shes migrating. And shes leaving today-another Saturday!! Coincidence? Just two Saturdays ago I was the airport and came back All teary and Depressed( sad to say yes but I was. WHY? no freaking idea! rofl) AND now its back to the same scenario- The going-to-the-airport-crying-and-coming-back one! Shes leaving today but my cousins, Rishan, Rashvin, Anu and Krishore together with my Uncle Subra Are leaving later on. I am so going to miss them!! I might join them later in the year if I am going to uni-Griffith University in Aust. So its either Aust, Swe(oolala) or in Can(rofl) Wonder which ones on.. Vimala Periamma, The empty place here is like the empty place in our hearts. I am going to miss you Crema Mama.: ) -Lavan Pssssttt… Lavan is what my family calls me! Hauhauhauhauh….

Ok here's the thing. i had three things going on in my mind today.they are: * my mt o levels result!( i thought i was gonna fluck!) *My a-maths test.( i studied yeah but was it enough? not sure!) * My 'o' level english oral( it had to be today and so fast?) and all these thoughts were racing through my mind when the time came for me to do my test. It was ok( u know what that means! rofl). so i was walking down the stairs at about 10-ish. and there it was- the noticeboard with all the results and L-ly was standing there with putty. i didn't want to go down to see mine ( like some sort of repelling here?) So she came up and i freaked out and she was like, "Lavvy.. you got an A2! with a distinction." I was like NO WAY! I mean WTf? me? and i was the only one with a distinction in oral?? WTFFFFFFFF!!!!!! haha anyway thats the good news roshan and yeah i took of the pic off since u wanted to me a diclaimer suit : )

OK from now on i will be dedicating songs to people or maybe even for myself? Oh bibin's birthday is coming soon : ) another virgo.=P Oh god i just wish that one day.. Hopefully one fine day i will wake up to find myself in a beautiful place( hopefully not in singapore.Look i am sorry :D). Everything so peaceful and nice and obviously with the man who loves me more that i love me. Sounds more like Uthopia? rofl well here's the song. This is for a special someone. yeah honey yeah : ) its been on my mind for days. it really reflects how i think and feel. Fallin out, fallin in Nothin's sure in this world, no no Breakin out, breakin in Never knowin what lies ahead We can really never tell it all Say goodbye, say hello To a lover or friend Sometimes we couldn't just understand Why good things begin then just end We can really never have it all Refrain: But/coz oh, can't you see That no matter what happens Life goes on and on So baby just/please SMILE Coz i'm always around you And i'll make you see How beautiful life is for you and me Chorus: Take a little time baby See the butterflies colors Listen to the birds that were sent To sing for me and you Can you feel me This is such a wonderful place to be Even if there is pain now Everything will be alright For as long as the world still turns There will be night and day Can you hear me There's a rainbow always after the rain Hittin high, hittin low Win or lose you should go Getting warm, getting cold Weather could be so good or bad But baby this is life Now don't get mad (repeat refrain) (repeat chorus) Bridge: Life's full of challenges Not all the time we get what we want But don't despair my dear (And i know that) You'll take each trial And you'll make it through the storm coz you're strong My faith in you is clear So i'll say once again this world is wonderful And let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful

I want to go back to SWE! now...Damn! jules i miss you : ) oh and happy national day. I look half-chinesey in that pic with Roshan anyway. ( no offense tho) HAUHAUAHAU! ha somethings never leave you even tho the seemed to have tho.. BRAZILIAN LAUGHTER hmmm wonder who i got that from..*thinks. Oh i got it.. another R.. Gosh

My L-Ly cried yesterday?For once i was really lost at how to console but i just brought her close to me, into a little hug and she cried. i just couldn't bear to see her cry.why? COS she's my friend.i can't see my friends crying and they can't to when i cry i know. that's why i waited for her in class, just beside the door peeping from time to time to see if she was done talking to 'her'.I miss myL-ly. L-ly if you are reading this, i am sorry i am annoying you but its just that i miss my old L-ly. the Carefree one..how i wish u were in my class? lots of us would have benefitted from your jokes, Especially , me Eugene and Ken. You know that! and Peter aka Roshan. dont know why i gave u that name.. and sorry about using the pic... it just means alot. I felt like using it cos it feels as though someone close to me (even tho i dont know u that well) like a brother has left me... so just for a while... : ) miss ya.. and hey reply to my e-mails k? /jane.

haha he's gone and my friends have talked to him but i HAVe-not! rofl.. i went into msn yesterday but he didn't reply that friend of mine.ha. We are currently in the comp lab now.. school's gonna end soon. Our inter class netball competition will start in about 4 hours time? but it wouldn't be the same w/o hotman. rosh my friend, where have u gone? so far far far away...

Its been 56 hours-ish since he left and it feels bad really. 300705-Well I guess that day actually came.I thought it will be a long way before he leaves..Ah..Ah CORRECTION here lavanya.IT WAS SO FAST. I mean it happened like so BLOODY FAST. Before I knew it, he was gone." Roshan i think we have to go in now," his father David said.His mummy was so nice to me.Even though it was the first time I met her like after knowing her son for like 4 months?I felt as thought i have known her for ages( tacky i know, sorry)I got a compliment you know whuch I know I'll remember for ever. Susanne: Hi. you are roshan's.. me: Friend yeah..My name is Lavanya and i know him from school. Susanne: oh i see Lavanya.....Its sad isn't it? the conversation went on but at one point of the time I was entertaining her and her PSG members.Actually I was talking to L-ly's phillipino looking mum but everybody was just looking at me and laughing away. Did I say something wrong? Nah when L-ly's mum asked if i should give a call to leia and wake her up? I just said," nah its ok i will let her sleep in since she wanted it so badly and i'll just KILL her later." Tacky i know but it made them laugh and Susanne was looking at me adorably and said," You know Lavanya you are very pretty." Wow so much from My rofl's mam?Now thats something. And his sister Shilpa( Indian, I LIKE.. :D) is so adorablé( yes adoooorrrablleu- the french way). I felt my heart sinking as we approached the departure gate.I held on to him and asked... Me: Are you sad? him: yeah.. Me: Will you miss me? him: That depends.. ( Ahhh..its killing me : )) he said and grinned at me. rofl. After his father, David said that they had to go, he left and immediately with effect of him leaving his presense i felt a strange sensation.I was begining to feel lighter but my heart sank and sank but it was painful because it had nowhere to fall. I felt everything leaving together with him- my strength, my happiness, my heart and my other half.It was too dark, heavy and grey in my heart that I just melted and cried.I just could'nt take it.To people who don't know me that well, i don't cry easily.I din't even cry when my father left for Sweden. But i cried for him.Why? because in rofl language.. I C A R E for him : ) 1436. -rofl-